Alone But Not Lonely

Category: Health
Last updated on: 27/02/2019
solitary fishing, water, contemplating, happy, relaxed.

Ask someone why he or she yearns to be in a relationship and, if they are honest, many will admit to seeking to avoid loneliness. Whilst those with established relationships and families complain of lost independence and no time to themselves. Is it really that difficult to find happy 'me time'?

The bad news is that booking a professional massage is highly unlikely to solve your relationship woes. But it may well be able to help with your natural and healthy need for moments of solitude without loneliness.


Small Steps

“You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

Oscar Wilde

Easy to say, harder to live out in the real world where compromise often makes the decisions for you. It’s about getting the balance between me-time and everyone-else time right. 

We’re not talking about the extremes of solitary confinement holidays. These can be great for some but are usually a major commitment in terms of time and cost … as well as being very difficult to withdraw from if your mood happens to change after arrival.

To avoid the risk of ending up sitting alone on a beach somewhere in South East Asia hugging nothing but your trekking rucksack and wondering whether you’ll ever actually find love back at home, try something simpler to begin with.

Just like exercise or diet, starting off with small, manageable steps on a regular basis gives you a much better chance of achieving success.

Look for a way where you can spend an hour or two focusing on just yourself but still have easy access to others if you feel the need to share your thoughts and feelings.



Meditation is well known as an excellent way to switch off and focus on your own inner thoughts. It is free, can be performed almost anywhere and at any time. 

However, meditating effectively takes practice and a calm mind.  It can be very difficult to achieve, especially if you are feeling restless about life.


The Calm Of Water

The sea is often associated with isolation. It is easy to feel detached in comparison to its vastness and afraid of its unknown darkest depths. 

But water, on a smaller scale, can be wonderful for helping you achieve a sense of independence and self-focus again. Activities like swimming 20 easy paced lengths alone (try underwater breast stroke) or going fishing for the morning are excellent ways to find a moment of solitude and reconnect with your inner self. 


Close At Arms Length

One of the wonders of receiving a professional massage at home from an experienced therapist is that your masseuse will understand that you should be given your own space during any treatment. 

A good therapist will, quite literally at arms length, provide therapy that takes your mind and body to a state where you are better placed to think through your own personal thoughts in a calm and effective manner. 

Part of a massage therapist’s role is to assess the psychological state of each client and, if necessary, be an aural sponge for any anxieties you feel like venting. 

Effectively delivered massage therapy allows you switch off from the world for a short while and instead focus on yourself whilst still feeling connected with the presence of another human being. Some call it assisted meditation. We call it real massage.



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