9 Embarrassing Questions
Our bookings telephone line received a call recently from a customer who sounded quite nervous. He asked several questions about the different types of treatments before finally ask what appeared to be the main reason for his call:
"Does a full body massage include buttocks?"
If you have booked online with us before, you will already know that yes, a full body massage can include buttocks if you would like (and many people do). Our focus man specifically lets you select buttocks as a separate body area to focus on. More about that elsewhere, the purpose of this article is to discuss embarrassing questions about massage.
So whether you are wondering what to wear to your full body Swedish massage (common) or what happens if you get an erection during a foot reflexology massage (not so common!), it is completely normal to have some questions that you may be embarrassed to ask your therapist directly.
Before we dive into our exploration of embarrassing questions about massage, it should be mentioned that a lot depends on culture. In Istanbul, if a male friend says he is off to get a massage it is pretty normal and nobody bats an eyelid. If the same man says it to English friends in London, he will probably suffer raised eyebrows, elbow nudges and a few sniggers. That is if he is brave enough to mention it at all in London. Men getting massaged just tends to cause an air of embarrassment in the UK. Perhaps it's that stiff upper lip (more on stiff bits in a minute!). We hope these questions will help put an end to embarrassment about massage.
Getting your questions answered before receiving a massage treatment is important. So let's dive in and see which are the most common embarrassing massage questions?
1. What kind of massage do you offer?
On the face of it, this could be a perfectly standard question hoping for a response along the lines of: “Swedish massage, Deep Tissue massage, Pregnancy massage …” and so on. Why then have we placed it at the number 1 spot of our embarrassing questions list? Because as well as receiving many calls about the different types and styles of treatments that we can provide such as those mentioned just above, we do also get asked the exact same question but in a rather different tone, often sounding quite shy and embarrassed.
Our answer is always to mention the range of holistic therapeutic styles we offer but when the caller is looking for something different, in other words sexual services, then we can almost hear their frustration. Often they will simply respond with “ok thank you” and hang up, At other times, they follow up with a more direct question such as “What about body to body?”.
Just to be clear, as we hope you already know and appreciate, The Massage Rooms offer only health-based mobile massages in London delivered to you at home by professionally trained visiting massage therapists.
2. What should I wear when I get a massage?
Questions about how far you should undress are so common that we have discussed it in a separate article. If you don’t have time to read that, the short version is wear (or don’t wear) whatever you want to but we recommend that you are sensible and we insist that you are respectful.
3. What if I fall asleep during the massage?
A common fear but one that is completely unfounded because actually if you fall asleep during your massage you are doing one of two things. Firstly you are indicating through your actions, which speak louder than words, that your body is loving your therapist's treatment and secondly you are doing something which is really very common indeed and will not surprise or shock anyone.
4. What if I dribble, snore or fart during my massage?
These are not asked quite as often as questions about falling sleep, simply because they are that much more embarrassing to even ask but we think they are thought about quite often. It may surprise you to discover, that they also happen quite frequently. During a very good massage, you may fall asleep quickly and unexpectedly as a result of the therapist’s deep relaxation techniques. This sudden reduction in your bodies activity levels can send you into a deeper sleep and dribbling or snoring as a result is quite natural. Farting can result from pressure being applied by your therapist or again by falling asleep and muscles relaxing without you being fully conscious to counter-control the movements. If you do have a tendency to fart when relaxed, might we be so cheeky as to suggest that you do not eat broccoli, cauliflower or various other foods just before your massage!
Therapists are used to these things and as long as you are not farting on purpose (dread the thought!), our therapists can be expected to be completely understanding and sympathetic.
5. I loved my massage last time – can I book the same therapist again or does that make me look like a stalker?
Following a great visit to your local hair salon, restaurant or bar, would you be considered a stalker if you returned hoping for the exact same person to cut your hair, cook your food or serve you your drinks? Of course not. The exact same applies to our massage services. We recognise massage is a very personal service and that empathy and an element of personal connection are vital ingredients in getting the best massage for you. It can sometimes take a few bookings before you find your favourite. Just like hairdressers, restaurants and bars. We therefore make it easy for you to find and select the same therapist again - and he or she will take it as a huge compliment that you searched them back out and no doubt be thrilled to return to you.
6. What if I get an erection during the massage?
It is not unusual for men to get an erection even during a therapeutic massage. This is not something to get overly embarrassed about. Simply being touched by another person can activate your parasympathetic nervous system and sometimes that results in an erection. This is yet another thing that any good professional, experienced therapist will know about and be comfortable dealing with. If you are particularly worried about this happening, you might consider wearing some fitted Lycra shorts during your massage, as this can help. Some people swear that thinking about their gran helped, but we couldn't possibly comment on that!
7. When I turn over to face up, do I have to look at my therapist?
This can be a tricky one. Some people feel they are being rude if they close their eyes. However, imagine how discomforting it might feel if you keep your eyes open and find yourself constantly avoiding your therapist’s face. What about simply starting at them non-stop instead? That's not a particularly good idea either!
We suggest that when you turn over, you look at your therapist with a smile and say something short and sweet. After all, she would have been working hard so far. Then close your eyes again and enjoy the rest of your massage. Pretty much the same advice applies to talking generally during your massage - we recommend you try to relax and save chattering for another time.
8. I hate my feet (or other body part), what can I do?
You can do whatever your feel most comfortable doing! Ask your therapist not to massage that area, keep that area covered with clothes or the towel. We assure you that your massage therapist has massaged so many different bodies they will understand difference exist between every person and will be immune to it. Of course you may still be uncomfortable, and that’s fine it’s your body. What we mean is your therapist will not be surprised or phased if you ask them to avoid any certain area, you don’t even need to explain why.
A similar question sometimes emailed to us is "My feet [or other body part] are ugly, will the masseuse mind?". No, they will not mind. They are a health professional chosen because they have great empathy as well as being experienced and skilled at massage. You should relax and realise that you might be stressed about it, but they will not be!
9. Can I get a “happy ending”?
As we reach the end of this article, we thought it best to deal with the elephant that is often in the room when discussing massage. This is indeed an embarrassing question when it gets asked and in many ways it could be at the top of our list. Why? Because it will embarrass your therapist more than anyone else. As qualified, professional therapists who are aiming at doing their job to make people protect and restore their health, it is of course offensive. So our advice is that if you are not 100% sure about whether a business or therapist offers services beyond therapeutic massage, then the best thing to do is simply assume that they don’t. Those businesses that do offer anything more, usually make it very clear.
Got a different embarrassing question?
If our Top 9 embarrassing questions didn't quite cut it for you, your question may already have been answered in our FAQ section where we have covered around 30 popular questions about massage. And if you're still scratching your head after reading those, then click the final FAQ to send us an email with your own. You never know, if it's really good we might even publish it.
