Loading
Some massage jokes and videos

Dive Into Our Funniest Massage Jokes

Feeling down and can't get a massage? Boost your mood with a laugh! Here are some top comedy massage moments to tickle your funny bone.

Rated Outstanding

5 gold stars indicating aggregate 5-star rating

Average rating 4.96/5.00 from 724 reviews


Funny Massage Videos

The following hilarious clip had us laughing out aloud especially the comment about pressure. We can all relate to it - whether we want to admit it or not - thank you Steve Soelberg!

So, think back to your first ever massage and enjoy this:


If you want to know the real deal on what to expect during your first massage, check out our little guide which was put together with help from our experienced mobile massage therapists.

 


 

Even though Sarah Millican is not that large, she often makes jokes about her size. In this video clip she gets everyone giggling as she recounts a few embarrassing moments during a massage:


Got some embarrassing massage moments of your own? Don't worry, you're not alone. Check out these 9 most common embarrassing questions about massage.

 


 

The next two massage comedy clips are based on something many of our mobile massage therapists have seen numerous times in real life. We still can't work out why you men insist on it. And yes, it is invariably men who are guilty of this one. We will leave it to Matt Braunger and Greg Davies to explain what we are talkoing about through their comedy genius:


 


Remember, in reality, massage should not hurt - so if you're suffering, please do speak up!

 


 

Now of course, we love massage as do you. But there are always those that are not such big fans - like Jim Gaffigan portrays in this funny piece.


We can assure you that our therapists are definitely not psychos - so even if you find one of them playing some slightly strange music, just try to relax!

 


 

And finally, of course no compilation of comedy massage videos would be complete without the omnipresent joke about a certain kind of excitement!

 

Funny Massage Jokes

And if you want to read a few silly massage jokes, here you go:

 

Getting together with a Thai therapist

Every thought about dating a Thai massage therapist?

They are lovely ... but don't be surprised if they walk all over you!

 


 

Mixed messages

Before starting the massage, a masseuse asks her client: “do you feel tight in your neck?”

He replies: “No I will not be.”

Slightly confused, she asks: “how about your back?”

“No I wasn’t.” comes his response.

Hoping for a better clue, she asks: “do your legs feel tense?”

“No I have.”

Giving up, the masseuse starts the treatment and discovers that he is tight in all of these places!

So she asks him, “why did you say you weren’t tight in these places, but you actually were?”

The man replies, “sorry, I’m not good with my tenses.”

 


 

Mixed Massages

I once dated a masseuse...

On the first date she massaged my shoulders.

On the second date she massaged my feet.

On the third date she gave me a full body massage.

But, in the end it never worked out.

She kept giving me mixed massages.

 


 

The Glutes One

A masseuse whispered to her client, "You seem quite tense in the gluteal region."

He winked and replied, "That's just my cheeky side coming out!"

 


 

'That' One!

A man, visibly nervous for his first massage, whispered to the masseuse, "I've heard some men... you know, get a bit 'excited' during the session?"

 She smiled reassuringly and replied, "It's natural and happens sometimes. But don't worry, I've seen it all... and I promise not to laugh!"

 

 

Don't say we didn't warn you that they were silly!

Remember having a laugh really does massage your insides and can help reduce anxiety and stress. So even if you are not currently able to enjoy a therapeutic massage at home, think of some ways to make yourself laugh to help improve your mood.

 

© 2009 - 2024 Zakas Ltd, proudly serving London, UK 🇬🇧